Lori pulled the mask off their nemesis.
"You! But why? (Also, who are you?)"
"I'm Sandra Cochran!" said the ghost formerly known as Tim Figgins.
"Who?"
"Sandra Cochran! The CEO of Cracker Barrel!"
"Sandra Cochran! But why?"
"I'm sick of all you hockey fans parking at my restaurant, without actually eating there!" wailed Cochran. "I wanted to make everyone think this arena was haunted, so it would close down. Then, when I see cars in the Cracker Barrel parking lot, I'll know they belong to people who want to patronize a place that sells grits AND biscuits AND rocking chairs AND Felix the Cat DVDs."
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS GOING OUT TO EAT WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
Sunday, December 25, 2016
PAGE 10
Lori pulled the mask off their nemesis.
"Jason Chaffetz! But why?"
"I want to bring minor league hockey to Utah County," Chaffetz shrieked. "But the Utah fan base isn't big enough to support another team. So I had to convince the Grizzlies that this arena was hainted, and they should play at Seven Peaks instead.
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS GOING TO A NON-HOCKEY EVENT OR ADVENTURE WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
"Jason Chaffetz! But why?"
"I want to bring minor league hockey to Utah County," Chaffetz shrieked. "But the Utah fan base isn't big enough to support another team. So I had to convince the Grizzlies that this arena was hainted, and they should play at Seven Peaks instead.
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS GOING TO A NON-HOCKEY EVENT OR ADVENTURE WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
PAGE 8
Lori pulled the mask off their nemesis.
"Gail Miller! But why?"
"The Miller family used to own ALL the sports in this town," Miller shrieked. "I wanted to drive the Grizzlies out of business and bring back the Salt Lake Golden Eagles, and the Salt Palace, and Bikini Night, and everything that used to make Utah hockey great.
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS GOING TO A HOCKEY GAME WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
"Gail Miller! But why?"
"The Miller family used to own ALL the sports in this town," Miller shrieked. "I wanted to drive the Grizzlies out of business and bring back the Salt Lake Golden Eagles, and the Salt Palace, and Bikini Night, and everything that used to make Utah hockey great.
"And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS GOING TO A HOCKEY GAME WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
PAGE 2
Yes, it was Figgins all right, but with a few major changes: his face was expressionless, his skin incredibly pale, and there were two giant tread marks across his white t-shirt.
After the initial shock caused by the apparition wore off, panic ensued. The crowd raced for the exits, and the players refused to return to the ice. During the commotion, the Zamboni disappeared into the bowels of the arena, and team officials found no trace of it or its spectral driver.
With some trepidation, the game was rescheduled for the following week. Those with tickets were invited back, if they wished to come, or they could request a refund.
"What do you think, Lori?" Jeff asked. "Should we go back?"
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET SOME GHOST KEEP YOU FROM ENJOYING LIVE HOCKEY, GO TO PAGE 3
IF YOU THINK IT'S BEST TO LET THE SUPERNATURAL STUFF WORK ITSELF OUT BEFORE RETURNING TO THE ARENA, GO TO PAGE 4
After the initial shock caused by the apparition wore off, panic ensued. The crowd raced for the exits, and the players refused to return to the ice. During the commotion, the Zamboni disappeared into the bowels of the arena, and team officials found no trace of it or its spectral driver.
With some trepidation, the game was rescheduled for the following week. Those with tickets were invited back, if they wished to come, or they could request a refund.
"What do you think, Lori?" Jeff asked. "Should we go back?"
IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LET SOME GHOST KEEP YOU FROM ENJOYING LIVE HOCKEY, GO TO PAGE 3
IF YOU THINK IT'S BEST TO LET THE SUPERNATURAL STUFF WORK ITSELF OUT BEFORE RETURNING TO THE ARENA, GO TO PAGE 4
PAGE 1
Jeff and Lori sat in the stands of the Maverik Center, cheering on the Grizzlies. Jeff was at best a casual fan of the sport, so sitting with a real die-hard like Lori enhanced his experience. They'd had tickets for this game for a while, but at the time they bought them they had no idea this particular game would wind up being a momentous and somber occasion.
It was the first Grizz home game since a tragic Zamboni accident had claimed the life of the driver, Tim Figgins. At the first intermission, the Grizzlies planned to have a moment of silence for Figgins, and then to debut a brand-new ice smoothing method that promised to make Zambonis obsolete, thereby preventing future accidents.
The horn sounded, marking the end of the first 20 minutes of action. The public address announcer was reading a tribute to the late ice smoother, but stopped mid-sentence, as all eyes became transfixed on the tunnel.
The Zamboni was emerging, as it had at this point in the game for many years, and sitting atop it was none other than Tim Figgins.
PAGE 6
"I'm usually stationed at the top of Portal K," the security guard said. "Don't always get a great view of the game, but it's right next to a great nacho stand. They have this giant pneumatic tube that brings the nacho cheese up from the storage area to the concourse. Probably not the most efficient way to do that, but it will come in handy now."
The trio raced to the area of the basement below Portal K. The guard pushed the button to activate the tube, and the powerful suction lifted them all up through the floor of the nacho stand--just as Figgins was racing past.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 9
The trio raced to the area of the basement below Portal K. The guard pushed the button to activate the tube, and the powerful suction lifted them all up through the floor of the nacho stand--just as Figgins was racing past.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 9
PAGE 7
"I don't watch a lot of hockey, but they've had plenty of televised wrestling events here. Thanks to my photographic memory and an old episode of WCW Nitro, I know there's a trapdoor in the visitors' locker room."
The trio hurried to the locker room and entered the trapdoor, which led to a series of hidden passageways. Jeff, Lori, and the guard walked quickly but quietly through the maze until they heard the ghost's laughter again. They then sprung from the nearest hidden doorway, catching Figgins by surprise.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 10
The trio hurried to the locker room and entered the trapdoor, which led to a series of hidden passageways. Jeff, Lori, and the guard walked quickly but quietly through the maze until they heard the ghost's laughter again. They then sprung from the nearest hidden doorway, catching Figgins by surprise.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 10
PAGE 5
"I've been to a lot of hockey games here," said Lori. "Trust me, the ice is our friend."
The trio ran back towards the rink, and as they reached the ice they all hit their knees, sliding to the other side. The new Zamboni-less smoothing method worked remarkably well, and they crossed the rink even faster than Lori had anticipated.
They then raced up the steps toward the exit, and sure enough, there was the ghost. He had taken the elevator up to the concourse and was running around the perimeter looking for a way out, but the good guys cut him off at the path.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 8
The trio ran back towards the rink, and as they reached the ice they all hit their knees, sliding to the other side. The new Zamboni-less smoothing method worked remarkably well, and they crossed the rink even faster than Lori had anticipated.
They then raced up the steps toward the exit, and sure enough, there was the ghost. He had taken the elevator up to the concourse and was running around the perimeter looking for a way out, but the good guys cut him off at the path.
The security guard tackled and subdued the troublemaker. Up close, it was clear that this wasn't the real Figgins, but rather someone wearing a Figgins mask.
"I knew it couldn't be a ghost," Lori said. "Let's see who's under this mask..."
TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR PRESENT IS, GO TO PAGE 8
PAGE 3
"Of course I want to go back," Lori said. "Whatever that thing on the Zamboni was, I'm sure we won't see it again."
Many did not share Lori's confidence. The arena was only about one-quarter full at the end of the first period. Three minutes into the intermission, the Zamboni appeared again, and once again the ashen, mangled ghost of Tim Figgins was at the wheel.
The players, officials, and the sparse crowd again scrambled for the exits--except Jeff and Lori.
"We're smart enough to be on JEOPARDY!, and we're smart enough to know there's no way that's actually a ghost," Lori said. "Let's go after him. If someone doesn't put a stop to this, we may never be able to enjoy a full hockey game again."
They hopped over the wall and ran across the ice as quick as they safely could, and entered the tunnel. Approaching from the other direction was a security guard--the only other person who had remained in the arena.
"We're chasing the ghost!" Lori called out.
"Me too!" said the guard. "I heard the Zamboni driving this way."
They raced down a side corridor, and there was the Zamboni--blocking their way. The hallway was too narrow to get around it. They heard footfalls and laughter beyond them, and then the sound of elevator doors closing.
"The ghost is heading up a level. We can't let it get away!" shouted Jeff.
"Don't worry, I know a shortcut," said Lori.
"Me too," said the guard.
"Me too," said Jeff.
TO USE YOUR SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 5
TO USE THE SECURITY GUARD'S SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 6
TO USE JEFF'S SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 7
Many did not share Lori's confidence. The arena was only about one-quarter full at the end of the first period. Three minutes into the intermission, the Zamboni appeared again, and once again the ashen, mangled ghost of Tim Figgins was at the wheel.
The players, officials, and the sparse crowd again scrambled for the exits--except Jeff and Lori.
"We're smart enough to be on JEOPARDY!, and we're smart enough to know there's no way that's actually a ghost," Lori said. "Let's go after him. If someone doesn't put a stop to this, we may never be able to enjoy a full hockey game again."
They hopped over the wall and ran across the ice as quick as they safely could, and entered the tunnel. Approaching from the other direction was a security guard--the only other person who had remained in the arena.
"We're chasing the ghost!" Lori called out.
"Me too!" said the guard. "I heard the Zamboni driving this way."
They raced down a side corridor, and there was the Zamboni--blocking their way. The hallway was too narrow to get around it. They heard footfalls and laughter beyond them, and then the sound of elevator doors closing.
"The ghost is heading up a level. We can't let it get away!" shouted Jeff.
"Don't worry, I know a shortcut," said Lori.
"Me too," said the guard.
"Me too," said Jeff.
TO USE YOUR SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 5
TO USE THE SECURITY GUARD'S SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 6
TO USE JEFF'S SHORTCUT, GO TO PAGE 7
PAGE 4
"That was pretty creepy," Lori said. "I think I'll just take the refund, and save up for my next Denver trip. Let's just watch a movie or something instead."
"Phew," Jeff replied. "I didn't want to say it first, but I'm scared to go back too."
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS A MOVIE NIGHT AT HOME WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
"Phew," Jeff replied. "I didn't want to say it first, but I'm scared to go back too."
YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS A MOVIE NIGHT AT HOME WITH JEFF. PLEASE COPY THIS PAGE'S URL AND EMAIL IT TO JEFF TO CLAIM YOUR GIFT.
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